Lies I've Told: Part 1

*Junior year I brought my little sister to her first High School party; where I proceeded to tell everyone that she used to collect kittens in a pillow case, hang them over a tree branch and use them as a pinata when she was bored.

*In middle school I asked my parents if my very best friend, Savannah, could sleep over. They said yes naturally. However, when she arrived I stopped her at the door and explained "Hey, my parents really said you couldn't sleep over but I'm just going to sneak you into my bedroom" to which she understandable responded "WHAT!?? Why are you doing this!???" I told her I didn't care what those "SOB's" had to say and guided her carefully down the hall. When we got to the living room doorway I asked her to, on my signal, leap into my bed room. We were to time this as I was walking by to shield her from my parents view. Immediately after completing the ridiculous mission...I came clean.

*I used to date a psychopath. When I was finished and felt the increasing need to separate myself from him I gave him the only logical explanation I could come up with (also the only reason I thought he may be the slightest bit accepting of): "I'm in love with Savannah."
(side note: Savannah was very surprised to hear about it...3 years later)

*DMX is my dad

* More recently I convinced my very paranoid cousin that the cramps and pressure she was feeling in her "bum" were classic symptoms of "Anal Labor". A condition where "the baby actually enters the colon and is delivered through the anus."

*And even more recently I sent the following text to her just as paranoid brother:
"Hey just making sure you're alright. There's a guy going around raping all GNC employee's. Hope you're not working tonight..."
to which he responded:
"quick question. What possesses you to say such ridiculous things?"
I guess I underestimated him....looks like someone grew up...